Don’t be average

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man (George Bernard Shaw).

There’s 2 types of dreams. Dreams people deem as possible (eg. have a beautiful house) and dreams that are deemed impossible (eg. walk on the moon).

But, there’s a president, many successful authors and even a bunch of astronauts, someone somewhere must have believed.

Everything is possible, irrealistic dreams are just a bigger test of your commitment.

Everyone aims for an average position, average wealth, etc, there’s fierce competition within the rungs of the average (Maren Kate). Aim higher, the time you’re gonna spend trying to land the job everyone wants in the office might be better spent working on your real dream.

Follow the money

I like people. I speak to anyone regardless of position or fit in my strategic endeavours.

You could say I’m not a strategic networker but, I also understand Neil Patel’s advice:

The best advice you’ll ever get: Hang out with rich people!

Your potential for success is higher if you are where the money is.

Wealthy people have generally done it before. They can introduce you to people you would otherwise never meet, provide advice when needed and, just by being around them, dramatically lower the barriers to financing.

Of course, you should never hang with someone because of money (they’ll definitely see you coming) but, if you network where the money is, your chances of meeting people you genuinely like and that have access to money will drastically increase.

Know what you bring to the table

The easiest way to discredit someone is to point out something he/she is not.

If you’re a designer, don’t let people judge you on your coding skills. If you’re a marketer, don’t let people judge you on your design skills. It’s great if you have those skills but, what you bring to the table has value on its own.

You have skills, strengths and weaknesses. Unfortunately, you can’t be good at everything all the time. There’s a time for everything; eventually your skill set comes in handy.

But, if you find yourself consistently short on skills and strengths where you work, ask yourself this question, do people value what I bring to the table? Your skills are just as valid as other peoples’, maybe you’re just not sitting at the right table…

Act as if this is completely normal

Ever been in a situation in which you felt completely out of character? Like you didn’t deserve to be on stage, didn’t belong at the negotiation table or were just not entitled to your 15 minutes of fame?

Some people are parachuted in new and unsettling situations and show no signs of stress or hesitation. It’s as though everything was normal; as though life was just catching up with what they had always been entitled to.

But, everyone feels uncomfortable the first time they’re thrown in situations that don’t feel completely real. In these situations, it’s important to realize that “out of character” does not mean “beyond character”. There’s a simple rule of improvisational acting that can help you overcome that early feeling of unworthiness:

Act as if this is completely normal (Conan O’Brien).

If you can get over the early feeling, the situations eventually become second nature to you.

Photo Credit: Hillary Manuel

The first ‘real’ step to public speaking greatness

No, it’s not remembering what you had to say, having pretty cue cards, making sure that your presentation rocks or that you’re wearing the right shirt.

It’s simply being comfortable and enjoying being in front of people. If you can be comfortable, you can be yourself. If you can be yourself, your personality will shine and you’ll seem like a natural.

Public speaking techniques can help maximize the impact of what you’re trying to say but, if you don’t feel like you belong in front of that crowd, it’s merely wasted knowledge.

Once you feel comfortable in front of a crowd, sky is your only limit… This is at least what the Dale Carnegie method teaches. It worked for me, it might work for you. :)

The values that hold you back

A few years ago, I was sitting in a room negotiating with partners. The discussions weren’t heated but, they also weren’t smooth. It seemed normal to me to remind the team that we were seeking a win-win outcome.

To my surprise and disbelief, one of the partner answered:

Not really.

How do you respond to that?

Unfortunately, it’s not true that if you play nice, people will always play nice with you. People have different rulebooks; they may not be playing the game that you were prepared for as a child and, that might be alright with them.

But, at some point, it’s important to realize that some of the values you were taught (with the best intentions) may be holding you back. To move forward, you may have to undo some of the teachings you received… and learn to play by other people’s rules…

Dress “just enough”

Should you…

1. Dress for sucess?
2. Dress to fit in and make people loosen up?
3. Merely make sure that you don’t underdress to avoid making people feel like you take them for granted?

The answer: It really depends.

It depends on the work culture, the expectations, the age group and the individual habits of the people you work with.

Because the way you dress can set the tone and have an impact on the company culture, it’s sometimes best to dress loosely…

However, there’s also times when it’s best to dress at least as well as the people you work with…

If you’re not sure which time it is, overdress. It’s easier to loosen up than to overdress once people have seen you in your jeans and $5 shoes…

The excuses we make

• I’ve done enough for the day.
• This was not my day.
• It wasn’t the right time / the right moment.
• The conditions weren’t good.
• I’m missing this or that.

What have these 5 things in common? They’re some of the conscious or unconscious excuses we give ourselves to stop trying – ways to justify not doing more and feeling ok about it.

Driven people are never satisfied. They constantly come up and try to do more. If they scored 3 goals, they’ll be as hungry when they try to get the fourth as they were when they got the first 3.

You don’t necessarily have to be that intense but, if you don’t know when you’re making excuses, you’ll always have a hard time knowing when you’re underperforming and hurting your chances to reach further.